…but so many good things happened to you!

“...but so many good things happened to you!”

Why is it that we remember good memories less than bad ones? In my project I am looking for the answer to this through family portraits which I appear in or I have taken in the past, and which I have good memories of, but forgot them over time. Without looking at photos, it’s like there are only pixels in the place of memories. However, I can clearly recall to this day that, for example, what nightmares I had for many years as a child after an unprocessed trauma. While I cut, fold, and weave these photos, not only manual but also mental work is going on. I realize more and more that there is no such thing as a pure, happy memory taken by itself. The longer I have a photograph in my hands and work with it, the more the future of the moment captured in the image shatters. Because I already know it’s past. The impressions of happy moments, which are pixelated in my memories, but clear when recalled, are destroyed again by negative memories.

In reflecting on my memories, I’ve come to realize that moments I once saw as joyful are often closely related to pain. As I physically manipulate the photos, I create a new narrative where good and bad memories lose their sharp contrast. A kind of balance develops between them, yet they remain inseparable. These images, therefore, do not merely capture a singular joyful moment but embody the duality of memory, where every positive experience carries the shadow of its darker side.

2022-2024, one of a kind artworks, own family archive photographs, scanned, printed on photo paper, handmanipulated in 3 dimension, different sizes: 30x40 - 60x40 cm, depth 2-7,5 cm

The realization of the series was supported by NKA (National Cultural Fund).