“...but so many good things happened to you!”

Why is it that we remember good memories less than bad ones? In my project, I am looking for the answer to this through family portraits which I appear in or I have taken in the past, and which I have good memories of, but I forget them over time. Without looking at photos, it’s like there are only pixels in the place of memories. However, I can clearly recall to this day that, for example, what nightmares I had for many years as a child after an unprocessed trauma. After all, sometimes I remember that there were many good things in my life, but the memories of them are very fragmented. When my mom brought me our family pictures one summer, she said: she doesn’t quite understand why I’m so anxious, why I’m depressed, when so many good things happened to me. I work with these images in my series. While I cut, fold, and weave them, not only manual but also mental and spiritual work is going on. I realize more and more that there is no such thing as a pure, happy memory taken by itself. The longer I have a photograph in my hands and I work with it, the more the future of the moment captured in the image shatters. Because I already know it’s past. The impressions of happy moments, which are pixelated in my memories, but clear when recalled, are destroyed again by negative memories. These are doubly fragmented memories. 

2022, one of a kind artworks, own family archive photographs, scanned, printed on photo paper, handmanipulated in 3 dimension, different sizes: 30x40 - 60x40 cm

The realization of the series was supported by NKA (National Cultural Fund).